I’m Always Here


I know you noticed that i turn away when we speak, often it seems that  whatever is way over there is much important than here, more important than you. I know you wonder if I’m still here with you in mind when I stare of into the distance seemingly chasing the future and when I reply you noticed that you’re some-what right, my response may be perfect but although my body’s here, my mind is racing through the darkest places, through tempest and tsunamis and plagues through forbidden lands and my heart or what’s left of it is broken into microscopic pieces that even I can’t find, you needn’t worry of that because I’m there ill always be there no matter how far-gone i may seem, you’re not paying attention you accused and I stare at a fraction of your face and with emphasis say I’m here, you’re supposed to look me in the eyes when I speak that’s what communication is about, I stare ahead again concealing the un-shed tears that threaten to spill because you don’t know how I feel and repeat again I’m here. Does it matter? Does it matter if I look to your left or my right? What should matter to you is that through my turmoil’s I’m here and to be honest I refuse to look you in the eyes because I’m afraid, I’m afraid you’d see the monsters that i keep hidden in the closet. Terrified that one look just one would allow them to crawl through the window of my eyes and into your presence to devour you. Afraid you’d be infected with the parasite of pain that had infested every limb of my being.  Afraid that the anguish that polluted my soul would break and contaminate you making you just as sick as I am. Scared to death that you’d see that within me is a tempest ready to be unleashed with just that one look. Afraid that you’d become burdened by the secrets that plagued my life. So I’ll turn away again to protect you from me and repeat I’m here, though I turn away I’m always here.


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