I do what I have to do

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I struggle,
they don’t know why I did the things I did,
But I won’t explain myself,
I try,
I try to be a better me,
To lose the depression and everything,
To move on,
But just when I think I’m going to have a good day,
Or that I can make it,
Or I conjure the desire to heal,
Something occurs,
It doesn’t make me stronger it breaks me,
 I’ll wear a mask of bravado,
Because that’s all I can do,
It’s that display of feigned strength that protects me,
Because they can never know how much it hurts,
I do the things I do to protect me,
But sometimes I really do it to protect you.
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